Thursday, February 28, 2013

Hearten A Friend

So after Ella's birthday party last Sunday, we went back to our house in Bulacan to quickly fix things up then immediately left, since we still have to go to Tito Delfin's wake at the Loyola Memorial Park Marikina. I fell asleep on the way while listening to my phone's music; I just woke up when we arrived there. The first thing I felt after getting out of the car was the call of nature. -_-" What added up to my agony was finding out that the comfort room's occupied when I finally got there. What more, the one inside's really taking up TOO long.

When I'm done with the toilet, I quickly followed my family inside the room. I'm happy that I recognized a few people inside, with Tita Joy [Tito Delfin's wife] talking to my mom. I sat beside my dad and looked around. Then I noticed a boy sitting on the organ's chair, playing random notes and chords. He looks familiar. I stared at him for a while and suddenly a light bulb appeared above my head. =)) He was our childhood friend and old churchmate, Lance, Tito Delfin's and Tita Joy's firstborn. He's Hannah's batchmate, by the way. Lance certainly grew up! His face had matured a lot, to the point of me not recognizing him right away. When I greeted Tita Joy with a kiss, my mom pointed out Lance to me and told me that he's going to study at UP Diliman. Tita Joy said that I should talk to him. I just smiled and went back to my seat.

It was my nature to be friendly with people, most especially with old friends, and I used to be the one who starts the conversation, just so the awkwardness would be lessened at least a bit. But just looking at Lance's face made me feel his sadness and sorrow. (Who wouldn't be sad when one loses his/her dad?) Then it struck me. I've been to many wakes and burials, but I've never felt the feeling of losing someone so close to me. Yeah, I've witnessed my grandmother and one of my uncles die, and I cried during that time. But the pain never reached my heart. When we go to places like this it's always my mom who condoles the family... maybe our presence comforted them a little, but I've never talked to them regarding their loss. I didn't know what I should say to Lance. I didn't know if I should have said, "I'm sorry you lost your Dad," or if I should have talked about something else. And if I'm gonna talk about something else, I don't know what that something else is.

After a few minutes Ate Daph, a churchmate and Tita Joy's niece, gave us burgers and juice then moved beside the organ and started talking to Lance. I noticed that they were having some sort of a happy conversation, since both of them were smiling at times. So I opened up my burger, took a bite, and approached them. I joined in the conversation. Ate Daph was a graduate of UPD, so basically the first thing we talked about was UP. In the course of our convo I found out that he didn't really pass the UPCAT, so he's goin' to take a certificate program instead (Malikhaing Pagsulat), shift to Philippines Studies and take up Law at Ateneo. I asked him why he doesn't want to enter UP College of Law, and I laughed at his answer. "Ayokong mamatay sa mga frat." [I don't want to die in fraternities.] :)) Ate Daph said that he's over reacting, stating that it doesn't mean that when you're in a frat, you're going to die. Although it is against our religion to join fraternities or sororities. :p

We talked about his life, his dreams, his younger sister, his father's dreams for him, his college plans, and his high school life. After a while Ate Daph went back to her parents, so it's just the two of us that were left talking. He just continued to talk. Sometimes I asked, but most of the time we're laughing about the things he's sharing to me. What his mom said when we were about to leave was true -- he was talkative. While talking with him, it's as if he didn't lose his father at all; I even felt that he's more happy than me during that time.

When we've said our goodbyes I asked for his number; it's been a long time since our group of friends in church had contact with him. As we were leaving the memorial park, I'm happy that even though I didn't know what to say, I was able to have an enjoyable talk with him. I'm not even sure if I was able to comfort him. :)) It's just that feeling that at least, I was able to share a laugh with him during this time of his life.

I just wanna share that the notes stuck into Tito Delfin's coffin cover placed a smile on my face. It didn't have the names of the members of the family or relatives who he had left behind, but there are two bond papers with colorful drawings of a child. It was Stephanie's [Lance's younger sister] artwork. On the first paper was written, "I love you so much Daddy. -Stephanie" and on the second one, "Congratulations Daddy! You've been promoted to heaven!" I liked the way she perceived her father's death. At a very young age she's aware that even though her dad was forever gone in this temporary planet, she knows that he is in heaven and what particularly hit me was the word "promoted". It really is a privilege for Christians to die and meet our God and Savior in heaven. :) "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.(Philippians 1:21)

For Christian families, when a loved one dies, it's not a time of sorrow; it's a time of rejoicing, for we know that our loved one has already gone to heaven with our God the Father. But, these families and relatives will surely miss the presence of the one who died. I offer my condolences to the Espejo family: Tita Joy, Lance, and Stephanie.

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